Update 32 - Earnest Writing
By now, at my rate of 1000 words a day, I should be at roughly 37,000 words. Instead, I am just hitting 18,000 in my draft. And yet I’m still kind of pleased.
I’ve developed a physiological response to hitting my writing goal. I feel good when it’s done. It feels like the one important thing I was to take care of that day. Of course, I still have itchy feet, so to speak. As soon as my 1,000 is done for the day, I’m on to other tasks. It feels a little bit like I’m trying not to overindulge, but I think it’s more of a subconscious sabotage. I’m aware my first draft is going to read like a first draft.
I met an old friend at a show this week, someone I hadn’t seen in almost a decade. He was a photographer, but he doesn’t take pictures anymore. He said it all started to feel the same to him. I think everyone who practices something they’re passionate about, something artistic, experiences pitfalls. His was how blasé the act became to him, maybe. Maybe I’m over simplifying. For me at least, I know my pitfalls are borne of a very nervous man who makes excuses as to why he falls short of the goal deliberately. I’m not that though. I’m writing earnestly. I’m getting a little better, and I’m becoming the writer I want to be.
I’m very lucky. Life is good, if indifferent.