Update 40 - Father's Day

Yesterday was Father’s Day. In honor of that, I want to relate a little bit about my Dad. I suspect he was born as much a rogue as I am, but he left home, the son of a steelworker, and joined the US army. He got an opportunity to go to West Point Academy, and he took it. It was an absolutely fantastic education for a young man born with limited prospects. I think it’s at West Point that most of the roguishness was worked out of him, leaving an honest and honorable man, and a pretty good example for his first born when he came along in the early nineties.

West Pointers are a particular breed. They’re incredibly capable, but can be bull headed in the way they approach things. They’ve gone to the military academy, they have or have had an officer’s rank, and god-dammit-you-will-get-this-done is often their bottom line. Most of my childhood fall holidays saw us spending time with my Aunt and Uncle, his classmates. Their reunions are always enthusiatic things to watch. And for all the bullheadedness, the doggedness, the in-your-face approach many of them seem to favor, there’s much to be learned there. And I love to recognize it in other people.

I didn’t go to the military academy. My father would have loved it, but I decided to go the leatherneck route- an adventure that ended prematurely. I think I’d have done well at West Point, but I wanted to take a road my father hadn’t. I’d spent 18 years under his roof, I’d heard enough West Point lessons to last me a life time, I’d figured.

It’s been about 15 years since I graduated high school and left home. As each year has passed, I’ve ended up seeing my old man only about twice, maybe three times a year. He lives about 13 hours south of me. As I get older, I think about him more often. We never really know when the last time we’ll see a person is. You say “I’ll see you next Christmas.”, but instead the next time you see them, they’re dead. In an oblong box. And you’re thinking about all things you’d wanted to tell them, and that you’d wanted to learn from them.

My father has been an amazing example for me throughout my life. If nothing else, keeping a family of seven relatively well-adjusted and still in communication with each other has to count for something. I’m often blown away by his sheer force of will. I think in his old age he’s becoming more meditative. I’d like to spend more time with him, and maybe we can learn from each other and get to know each other better. At least as well as a father and son can. You can never truly know the soul of another person. Between men, that sometimes seems even harder. Between daddies and their sons- well that can sometimes be too turbulent for either party to ever want to navigate.

I don’t want to navigate much with the old man, next time I see him. I want to listen to him talk. I want to answer his questions. I want to drink with him and be around the family he was half the maker of. I’m grateful for him, and I love him.

Here’s to dads that try their best. Cheers.