Update 43 - Other Side of Doldrums

I don’t know whether the wind has anything to do with how I steer my boat. It seems as though I row into bursts of wind. The real trouble came with building the shoulder muscles. I can’t just wait for inspiration. I’ve planned maybe more than is wise. For a ship patched mostly using flotsam & jetsam, the boat itself is sturdy enough to make it to port. At port there’s people, though their disposition is yet unknown to me. I row and it brings me comfort sometimes. Other times it seems its all I know how to do anymore.

The weekly reminders to post to my website haven’t gone away. It’s not as if I haven’t though about this site for the past five months. It just seemed pointless to me to share my current struggles on the site. It’s no inner-conflict I haven’t bemoaned before. To begrudge the struggle is to refuse to embrace it.

True North is going well. I’m back on my 1000 words a day routine. It’s literally the least I can do without feeling as if I’ve betrayed myself. Currently I’ve got almost 900 pages that can’t be published, but it’s a good start. It’s a comfort because its something under my control.